What do you expect from a person having a functional brain and active vocal chords? Of course to have thoughts, feelings, opinions and to be vocal about these opinions.  But what if that person is a girl or a women? Well, your response might differ in this respect since our society preaches a very different set of rules for them.

It’s ironical to witness India as a nation which on one hand is trying hard to project herself as a modern country while on the other is still confined within the shackles of its age old beliefs against women.  We have definitely gone far to educate our daughters in order to make them financially independent but have not prepared ourselves to withstand their independence which comes along with it, the independence of thoughts and choice. There is no denial to this fact that women are still not permitted to express opinions at many stages of life. There are numerous roles like that of a new bride or a daughter-in-law or as a professional when a woman has to confine her opinions to herself. ‘Dissent’, ‘saying no’ and ‘having strong opinions’ on a woman’s part is often perceived as arrogance. A major portion of our society believes in teaching such opiniated women a lesson for life. The perpetrators of the horrific ‘Nirbhaya Rape case’ very proudly admitted that if Nirbhaya would not have protested she would not have met with such a tragic fate, neither they would  have subjected her to this level of brutality.

Be it professional world or her life after marriage women are mostly advised to practice caution about what they speak as this might make her vulnerable to be judged and harassed. Threats of divorce to a strongly opinionated wife or a daughter in law, and that of rape to those who protest against the system is quite common in our society. Unfortunately, we all advocate and justify such threats instead of opposing these. The recent issue of Gurmehar Kaur being subjected to rape threats, which divided the whole of India and the social media into two opposite parts actually depicts the cost an opiniated women has to pay in our country.

Gurmehar’s case is a stark example of how brave assertions by women are tried to be suppressed by attacking their dignity. Unfortunately, the makers of our country like the politicians and some popular celebrities has stooped so low to siege Gurmehar for merely expressing her dislike about a particular political party. Instead of triggering action against the culprit they were busy mudslinging against the daughter of a martyr.

As a child I was unaware of the concept of gender discrimination. But with course of time many incidents made me realize that inspite of not being inferior to boys, we girls are conditioned to believe so. More upsetting was to get such preaching from some of my teachers as I always looked upon them as revolutionaries of the world. Instead of breaking the patriarchal notions prevalent in our society I encountered some of them, reinforcing the same. I remember one of my favorite teacher conducted a separate class only for girls when I was on standard 8^th while sending all the boys to the playground. While all boys were having fun we were advised that how we girls at the age of puberty should understand that we are different from boys physically and in terms of our rights too. How we should learn to bow down and suppress our opinions. She further added that we have to go to a different home after marriage hence we should be more cautious about our conduct and character and be submissive in this patriarchal society. It was disheartening to hear such things from someone whom you see as a role model.

Years later, now I stand at a point where I can see revolution and protest to the age old notions. No matter the plight of women is still the same. We are still expected to behave and own responsibility to whatever bad happens to us but at least we can witness many voices and hands raising in our support.  I never imagined that someday men will also come out in support of a rape victim like Nirbhaya. No doubt we need to go a long way when it comes to women’s liberty and make society understand that it’s never man versus woman but the fight is against patriarchy.  No matter how many women’s day we celebrate it’s all worthless until and unless we create a safe and equal platform for our women and when no one would be afraid of a woman with opinion.

 

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